Saturday, May 16, 2009
last year i was having sex with some rando and all of a sudden he started crying and said "my best friend just died, and i thought this would help, but it didn't. i think you should go now!" next thing i know i'm locked outside in ten degree weather without pants. FMR?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
my girlfriend and I were having sex in my lofted jewett bed when my roommate walked in. she freaked out and knocked me off the bed, i landed face down. i had to get my penis examined by ems and spent the rest of the day in the hospital. oh, they called my mom too. f me, right?
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
recently i got really drunk and took what my friend told me was ecstasy. turns out it was cut with acid and i spent the next several hours running around, alternately screaming about wanting to have sex with everyone i saw and vomiting all over everything. then i had to go home and eat dinner with my grandparents. FMR?
my freshman year at college i got blackout drunk and woke up the next morning to find a suspicious wall post on my facebook. "this will be one of those college memories you never forget." apparently, my friend found me passed out in his bed at 3:30am the night before. fmr?