i consider myself a music connoisseur, but the other weekend my friends made up a band that sings only about teeth. i believed them and searched all over youtube trying to find their music videos. they finally told me it was false and i felt like and idiot. fmr?

last year i was having sex with some rando and all of a sudden he started crying and said "my best friend just died, and i thought this would help, but it didn't. i think you should go now!" next thing i know i'm locked outside in ten degree weather without pants. FMR?

today i woke up and i had poison ivy all over my vagina. fuck me, right?

my girlfriend and I were having sex in my lofted jewett bed when my roommate walked in. she freaked out and knocked me off the bed, i landed face down. i had to get my penis examined by ems and spent the rest of the day in the hospital. oh, they called my mom too. f me, right?

recently i got really drunk and took what my friend told me was ecstasy. turns out it was cut with acid and i spent the next several hours running around, alternately screaming about wanting to have sex with everyone i saw and vomiting all over everything. then i had to go home and eat dinner with my grandparents. FMR?

my freshman year at college i got blackout drunk and woke up the next morning to find a suspicious wall post on my facebook. "this will be one of those college memories you never forget." apparently, my friend found me passed out in his bed at 3:30am the night before. fmr?

Last fall, I sent a text to my friend about what a bitch this girl was being. After not hearing a response from my friend, I checked the status of the text only to find out I had sent it to the girl it was about. f me, right?